Quality
|
Heads
|
Tails
|
Assertive
|
You always know where you stand with them.
|
They can be selfish/greedy
|
Bird of a Feather
|
You’re on the same wavelength, and need to explain yourself is minimal
|
You don’t have someone to pull the other way when you really need
someone on the saner, less neurotic end of the tug rope
|
Friendly
|
They’re friendly (duh)
|
You never know if they are being nice because they like you or because
they are just nice to everyone
|
Rude
|
They’re refreshingly honest
|
They can be hurtful
|
Conscientious
|
They are very moral, reliable people.
|
You have to spend a lot of time reassuring them that some things are
okay to let slide, and, no, it does not make them a horrible person
|
Sensitive
|
They notice when you are down about things, and are understanding
|
They are easily hurt or offended and they hold grudges.
|
Independent
|
They don’t need you.
|
They don’t need you.
|
Perfect
|
They’re perfect!
|
They can be depressing to be around and compare yourself with
|
In theory - talking to the world. In reality - talking to myself. Good thing I never get tired of me.
Friday, May 4, 2012
The Best and the Worst
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
On getting older
Monday, April 23, 2012
The pros and cons of being judgmental
1. Nobody needs to wonders what my opinion is on anything
2. If somebody didn't know before that things like alcohol are bad for them, they just learned something new.
3. It comes naturally.
Con
1. I don't know the full circumstances, and, even if I did, I don't have the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
2. Doesn't follow the golden rule.
3. People never take my advice. Maybe someday...
4. There's a tendency to make people feel like I'm judging them.
Conclusion: Too close to call.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Lost and Found in e-Translation
Sometimes I interpret electronic writing (aka "texts") in a way that may say more about me than about the writer
Writing Device
|
How I interpret them
|
Commentary
|
Ellipse after a sentence…
|
Think about what I just said, because there is a hidden meaning.
|
Drives me crazy when it’s after something like “Have a nice day….” Part
of me knows there is no hidden meaning, and part of me feels like there is
something I don’t know about an assassin.
|
“quotations”
|
I’m mocking you.
|
|
Um…
|
What you just said was so dumb, it’s going to take me a second to think
of a tactful response. I just want you to be aware of that.
|
It just seems somewhat fake in writing form. “Um”’s are a
semi-involuntary tick, and writing isn’t involuntary.
|
Ellipse….between…
words
|
Pause and think about every word I’m saying
|
Acceptable when the words are worth it, very annoying when they are
not.
|
ALL CAPS
|
I’m screaming at you.
|
So exhausting to read.
|
No smiley faces or exclamation marks
|
I’m mad at you or bored.
|
I know this generally not right, but I’ve been conditioned to expect
smiley faces with everything remotely friendly.
|
Friday, April 20, 2012
Why you shouldn't hug me
Ja, ik spreek Engels.
However, I am going try to update everyday for the next ten days (without spamming facebook). Now I finally cancelled my New York Times online subscription (they make it deviously difficult, you actually have to call them), I can no longer spend most of my free time learning about things I have no influence on, so it seems like a perfect time to start writing about them instead. So yeah. Today's topic is immigration.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Things I'm Hypocritical About
For others: It’s rude and disrespectful.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Self Delusion - You Should Try It
PPS. If you think this blog is about you, it's definitely not.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Everyone is beautiful!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Why Twilight Annoys Me
Rose
|
Thorns
|
Reason this is a lame thorn
|
Edward
|
Might eat Bella
|
Despite every conversation between Edward and Bella being “I’m not
good for you”, Bella is never eaten.
|
Becoming a Vampire (immortality, beauty, superpowers, super strength,
et)
|
Can’t have children, might kill innocent people
|
Turns out Bella can have children and has super self-control. Surprise.
|
Presents for Bella
|
Not sure but Bella spends more pages whining about presents in
general then she spent seconds thinking about on all those poor people who
die at the Voltorri
|
Whining does not equal a good conflict
|
Getting a free, planned wedding
|
Again, not sure why Bella is finding things to complain about
|
See above
|
Having a dangerous pregnancy
|
Might die
|
The venom only had to be inserted before heart stopped beating. This
isn’t super hard if you ask me. No one did
|
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Psychopaths
What’s the difference between a sociopath, a psychopath, and a person with anti-social personality disorder. Answer: There is none, but it feels most satisfying to call a horrible people a “psychopath” then a “person with anti-social personality disorder” so that’s what I’m going with. I recently read a good deal of books about psychopaths, which isn't suspicious or weird at all, and I wanted to sort out my thoughts, so hence this post.
I think personality disorders are the most interesting of any mental disorders because they give you such an alien, alternative viewpoint of the world. Most mental disorders can be understood as normal behavior taken to extremes. For example, if you imagine how you feel right before an big interview and than imagine feeling like that all the time you can get a degree of understanding of generalized anxiety disorder. But how can a normal person understand how the mind of a serial killer works?
I read an interesting theory on psychopaths somewhere (I think it was in the Blank Slate by Steven Pinker) that psychopathy, as opposed to most mental disorders, can actually be advantageous. If most of the population is kind and trusting, a certain percentage of the population can take advantage of that by becoming parasites. This strategy works only if a small portion of the population takes subscribes to it. (You can’t have a society of parasite, because then there will be no host.) Fear and empathy both stops normal people from exploiting others. Conveniently psychopaths aren’t handicapped by either. It’s not hard to see how lacking these attributes would make one a better cheater, liar, stealer, murderer etc. and how that could be beneficial from a purely selfish standpoint.
This goes part way toward explaining one thing that always confused me about psychopaths- if you don’t care about anyone, why bother to deal with people? Why go out of your way to kill someone if you just don’t care? Why not just deal with computers or TV or whatever you do care about instead? Viewing psychopathy as adaptive offers an answer of sorts - Psychopaths do actually care about people but only as sources of power.
The book Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout, clarified this further for me. I remember seeing the Psychopath Next Door at Barnes and Nobles six years ago, but back then I was still very much in my “nobody is really evil” phase, so I didn’t want to read it. But now I’m older, so much older (sigh), so I read it. Besides explaining how psychopaths were motivated by "making others people jump", Stout also makes the point that lacking in empathy doesn’t necessarily manifest itself as a serial murderer. Smart psychopaths might end up on Wall Street or running an entertainment company. An often repeated claim of the book is that 4% of the population are psychopaths, and that some people really are just evil and you should avoid them.
At this point, I was wondering how many psychopaths I knew and making a mental list. Thankfully, before I could go far into that rabbit hole, I read the Psychopath Test. The author, Jon Ronson, writes about his meetings with a very diverse group of people from Emmanuel Constant, an infamous Haitian death-squad leader, to the people who tried to “fix” the psychopaths with treatments such dream-therapy and LSD administration. (Sidenote: 80% of released from that psychopath rehab program reoffended (gruesomely), as opposed the normal 60%. The rehab therapy just taught them new ways to fake empathy.)
While he sees the absurdity of the view of some that psychopaths just need to be loved, he also isn’t entirely comfortable with the power to classify some people as psychopaths and thereby making them practically another species. I would highly recommend this book. Not only is it funny, informative, and easy to read, but I really like how he never over-states his case. In fact, it often seems like he doesn’t have one, he just tells the story and lets you decide what you want to take from it all. What I took from it all was that some people such as that death-squad leader really are just evil, but you can’t go around labeling everyone disagreeable as a psychopath.
….Or can you? Below is list of the twenty traits accessed by the Hare Psychopathy Test (score each trait from 0-2, a sum over 30 qualifies, source: http://www.minddisorders.com/). And if you’re worried you might be a psychopath, don’t worry, you’re not one. As Dr Stout says, a real psychopath wouldn’t worry about that.
glib/superficial charm
grandiose estimation of self
need for stimulation
pathological lying
cunning/manipulativeness
lack of remorse or guilt
superficial affect
callousness/lack of empathy
parasitic lifestyle
poor behavioral controls
sexual promiscuity
early behavior problems
lack of realistic long-term goals
impulsivity
irresponsibility
failure to accept responsibility for own actions
many short-term marital relationships
juvenile delinquency
revocation of conditional release
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
What type are you?
As a middle-aged adult trapped in a young adult’s body, I really like Oprah magazine. Mostly, I like the pop psychology articles (as a neuroscience and psychology major, I feel slightly guilty about that). Anyway, Dr. Fisher keeps coming up in them, so I’ve been wanting to read her book(s) for some time without actually paying for them, so I was psyched the library had a copy Why Him? Why Her? (I had to check of a lot of intellectual sounding books out to compensate for that title. Review of A Language History of the World coming soon!)
This is your typical “Understand-all-human-interactions-with-this-one-simple-theory” pop psychology book. They’re probably like the diets also featured in Oprah magazine - if they actually delivered on their promise, they wouldn’t have to come out with a new one every month. However, Dr. Helen Fisher actually is a researcher, so my hopes were high that I would finally find the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
To give a brief overview: There are four types of people, typified by one type of hormone;
Type | Hormone | Short Description | Famous Person |
Builders | Serotonin | Conventional | George Washington |
Explorors | Dopamine | Lots of joy de vivre | Helen Keller |
Negotiators | Estrogen | Stereotypical Female | Gandhi |
Directors | Testosterone | Stereotypical Male | Albert Einstein |
Your chemistry profile determines your personality type, which in turn effects your choice of career, partner, communication style…basically everything.
(You can read more about the types at http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Whats-Your-Type)
Since the book was trying to establish its authority based on neuroscience, I was disappointed by how little neuroscience the book addressed. The role of hormones and neurotransmitters seemed very oversimplified. Hormone levels vary throughout life and situations, interact with each other, exist simultaneously, and can have completely different effects based on which part of the brain or body they act on, it really can’t be as simple as having one hormone profile.
However, despite the oversimplification (which I suppose might be necessary to sell the book), it was a fun and informative read. Helen Fisher is a good writer and her historical anecdotes, study-backed facts, and quotes kept the book interesting.
In case you were wondering, I am a NEGOTIATOR/director. Among many other things I “wrestle with the contradictory feelings of being too eager to please and being tough minded”, “avoid social engagements”, and I’m drawn to people “with unruffled calm and decisiveness, those who are ambitious, and those who can focus on their goals”. Good to know.